The Dating Dilemma

Questions. We all have them. And we want answers. Sometimes a quick Google search will do the trick, but most often, answers to life’s more difficult questions are not easily found at our fingertips. As Christians, however, the Bible can provide clarity and guidance to help navigate our path – especially as singles.

One question that continues to surface when seeking a mate is, “Should a believer date/marry an unbeliever?” Some may be quick to point out that leading people to Jesus involves relationships and immediately respond with a resounding “Yes.” But TPCC Pastor Ryan Bramlett challenged us in his sermon "The Relationship Questions" on Feb. 18, 2019, “Is there anything about this type of relationship that is unique in leading people to Jesus or would a friendship do the same?” Coming alongside of someone as a friend may be the wisest way to proceed. Besides isn’t friendship the best foundation on which to begin any type of relationship?

If differences in beliefs persist but you decide to forge ahead anyway, you may be setting yourself up for conflict – with how you budget finances, raise children, or spend time together. “When it’s ‘yours’ it’s cool,” Ryan said. “But when it moves from ‘yours’ to ‘ours, it creates conflict.” The reality is that the filters through which you both make decisions are different. Asking someone to filter decisions through something he/she doesn’t believe in – like Jesus – will likely result in resentment, pain, and disconnection.

While you may be struggling in this solo season right now, the Bible tells us that singleness is actually a gift. Often we have more freedom since we don’t have a spouse as our highest priority. Instead we can leverage our free time and resources in the ways that we choose to honor and glorify the Lord: “An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.” (1 Corinth 7:32-33 NLT) 

My hope is that you will embrace this season of singleness and know that you never walk alone. Your brothers and sisters in Christ are with you on this journey, and most importantly, Jesus is with you every step of the way.

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4 ESV)

To view this week's sermon click here: "The Relationship Questions"

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2 Responses

  1. I was at this sermon – amazing! This is so true to me. I had a relationship and I couldn't get past the challenge of differences in beliefs. I missed out.
    • Yes the sermon was amazing! I love how Ryan was able to clearly explain how people with different beliefs/foundations make decisions through different filters. I especially loved the deck of card analogy. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment, Ethan. ~Julie

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